Let's admit that in 2016 you are bound ladies to end up dating a guy who has kids. The problem only arises when you discover the type of relationship he has with his child's mother. I will add that a lot of relationships end before they even get started when it comes to dating a guy who has a "baby mama". Most of those issues only arrive when the guy does not know how to distinguish between who is more important in his life. Many men want to respect the mother of the child because she birthed their child but at the same time they must respect their new love and not place her on a back burner just to accommodate his child's mother.
Where does he draw the line? Who should be put in their place? Will it bring more problems?
Here is a confession below from a guy who has been having issues with his baby mama and wife.
"Why can't you all get along
Wife you have to understand, we gone always have love for the baby mama. She birthed our seed and 9/10 held a brother down like a brick.
If it didn't work with the baby mama it was probably our fault.
Baby mama why you always hating and starting stuff?
Example I gave my baby mama some money to get her hair done for a job interview. Wife and I go get my daughter, my wife says something slick and BM says "Whatever, I hope you like my hair my baby daddy paid for it" then pulls off.
But Wife why you always tripping, you got the ultimate trophy "the man". So why is it that you even entertain the BM. Sure we got love for the BM (even if we act like we don't) but who got the ring??? No one forced us to marry you. We did so out of love, so stop giving us crap
Yes we gone do for the BM even if it don't pretend to the child but we gone do more for you!
PS no hate but if you husband act like he hates his BM, he doesn't all the time, just sometime. As for me and mines, it's a LOVE/HATE relationship. But with the wife it's LOVE/LOVE"
Now after reading that statement from this guy I will say this sounds like a guy who is still sleeping with his "baby mama". Your income is supposed to go on your child, yourself, & your wife.
WHY are you paying for the mother of your child to get her hair done?
Stuff like that is asking for trouble and you will get it every time. Your child's mother is responsible for getting her own hair and nails done, not you. There are so many "baby mama's" who are single and treating their child's father as if he is their man. The problem is that the father needs to man up and let her know her place and stop feeding into the same crap. If you still wining and dining your child's mom then you clearly still have feelings for her that exceed beyond the child. Your wife should be respectful to your baby mother but if she starts making slick comments about how you get her hair done and etc., then that's the time as a man that you step in and put her in her rightful place. A man should state, "Yea you are the mother of my child but this is my wife and you need to respect her".
Any man that allows his baby mom's problems to become the "wife" or girlfriend's problem is a weak man. This is why so many women are afraid to date men who have children by other women.
Now understand that there are some men who do not have problems with their child's mother whether she is single or not because they have a mutual understanding that they are not together and the only communication involved is on the child's needs and well beings. I honestly feel that is how it should be. If the guy and his child's mother are not together, there is no reason for him to be taking her out to eat all the time and getting her hair done. I feel you can take your child out to eat and spoil your kids but the baby mama does not need to be on the scene for all of your outings. I have a problem with a guy who has his child's mom out everywhere they go because to me it says you two still have some feelings for each other and it is possible that you both are still sleeping together.
There is no law that says because she has a baby with you that she is entitled to be disrespectful towards who ever you are involved with or that she is entitled for you to spend your money on. Your child's mother also should not be hanging out all the time with you and your girlfriend. I mean where do they do that at?! We will be cool but not that cool.
If you are paying child support then let that be it. If you must spend any extra money then let it be on the child. You can't be in a relationship but still treating your child's mom as if she is your girlfriend to. Her bills and gas for her vehicle are her own personal problems. Men have to know where to draw the line when you are married or in a serious relationship that is leading to marriage. I know most guys claim well their child's mother will be around forever and the girl can always leave. Let me explain that this is still no excuse to disrespect the woman you are involved with. If you have such high standards for your child's mother then you two should just be together if you are going to continue to make that an excuse for treating her lavish.
If you do not draw a line of respect then every relationship you encounter will fail. Which I'm sure will make your child's mother quite happy because that just means more of your time and money she can use up until she gets her own man.
Be respectful of the new person in your life who is trying to love you and do for you what your ex aka "baby mama" could not do for you.