Tuesday, May 12, 2015

"I Never Saw It Coming"

So you're excited right?

Its the first date you have been on in a while...okay stop wait...so its one of like a million dates you have been on and you're hoping that this one will be the last one.

There are some things that you should observe first hand during the dating process so that you can avoid future let downs. We know that we love to ignore those warning flags alerting us ahead that the person we are interested in just might have some inner issues that do not relate to what you are looking for in a relationship.

There are some good people out there but it does not neccessarily mean they are good for you. They may be perfect for the next person but sadly, they are all so wrong for you.

Be Observative.
Listen to what the person you are inquiring about has to say and be aware of those swift selective words that they are using when describing how they react or interact with others. People will not tell you upfront that they are crazy and if they do and then they smile after saying it then you just might want to be attentive.
Many of you have even met their family members and they stated that this person is flat out crazy and that you should move slow and not rush things.

Yet we ignore family right?
Yet we ignore their friends right?

Seems like the best thing to do is ignore everyone close to this person of interest who are screaming..."They are crazy!"

Wrong! You are so wrong!

Believe people when they show you who they are the first time. Do not and I say do not fall for that apologetic move they deliver after they just called you every name in the book and went snap crackety pop on you. They were simply showing you their hidden inner demon that they plan to hide for the first 90 days of the dating process.

We know everyone tends to put on a big front at first so as to lure in the person they plan to hopefully spend the next years of their life getting to know.
They are sweet and kind and as understanding as the therapist who quit her day job to plant flowers.

Be attentive. Every now and then...they will show you hints. So its a plus for you to ask as many questions as possible so that you gain an all around understanding of the person you are dating. Don't just sit there asking about their future goals and five year life plan! The average person pretty much has that response about what they see themselves doing in the next five years planned out perfectly.

You should ask questions that relate to good issues and bad issues. Find out what upsets them and what types of things interest them or make them pop off as we hear said.

Pay attention to body language because people who are constantly shifting and scratching or scanning the room while you are asking questions are usually hiding something and again that inner person is ready to be unleashed but they know they have a role to keep up to get you.

Observe their stats on facebook, twitter and instagram. I know it sounds like you are playing private eye detective but honestly people pour out more of who they really are on the inside via social media more these days than ever before.

So if she is telling you she loves animals but her facebook stat has every video of torturing animals then you might want to re-evaluate furthering that date.
Again many signs we observe and we choose to ignore them and it is not until we are sitting with a confused face and a broken heart that we admit we knew something was not right about that person from the start.

Pay attention to those red flags and in the end, its up to you how many flags you can tolerate before you decide its not worth your time.

Date Wise.
Put on your 4D glasses while Dating so you can never say...I never saw it coming because you were already steps ahead of your person of interest.