Friday, April 4, 2014

Stop Trying to Please Others!


Have we all not at some point desired the approval of others?
Why yes we have because it is in the human nature to desire acceptance among mankind. As little children we desired approval from our parents, so we rushed home from school excited to tell them about the good grades we received and how awesome all your friends thought you were. In our teenage life we sought the approval and acceptance by others at school because of course nobody wanted to be the kid eating lunch alone. In our adult life we strive to meet the approval of our boss or supervisor in hope they will notice us so that we can obtain that higher pay or position we have so patiently been seeking.

Here is the thing. No matter what you do in life, you will not please everybody. There will be some handfuls of people that you will venture across that you can bend over backwards for and they will simply give you no sign of acceptance. You have to learn how to create your own happiness by finding acceptance only within yourself. When you learn how to accept you for who you are then it will not matter who else does not accept you. To accept yourself makes room for others to accept and respect who you are. When you constantly go around asking others what they think about you? What do they feel about you? Then you create an image that you do not know anything about yourself so now the signal comes across to them as this is a person who has no confidence in themselves and seeks to please the world.

Stop trying to please the world and just seek to please yourself. When you do things that make you happy, the world around you becomes happy. Yet when you find yourself seeking to please others then you will always fail and you will always find yourself not gaining the approval you truly desire. The only being that I seek to please is God, not man.


I want you to try an experiment and feel free to comment on the blog below and let me know how it worked for you. I want you to go an entire week making decisions on your own. Don't ask nobody what they think about your decision, or what they feel about it. I want you to go shopping by yourself ladies and choose something to wear on your own and do not call to ask what anyone thinks will look good on you. I want you men to respond to a question without asking others how they think you should respond. This experiment is not to hurt you but to simply teach you how to think for yourself and how to do what pleases you. Every day we spend hours ladies asking other women for advice on how to operate our lives and what we should wear when the only opinion that matters is yours. When you step out the door in that outfit that someone else said they think looked great on you, Did you really get it to impress yourself? or Did you get it to impress your friend who now wants to borrow it because they simply were thinking of how nice it would look on them.

Men you spend time talking to your guy friends about a girl that you like and you want to know how they feel you should handle the situation with her. Often times that guy could be giving you the wrong ideas for responding to the female because he simply wants you to mess things up with her in hope that he will have a shot at her. This is not always the case but when it comes to a woman that you are interested in men, this is a time to think for yourself and make a decision of the heart. You do not need nobody to tell you how to live and operate your every thought and move in life. You are not an object on a Chess board.

Let me also speak on another issue that I see which affects people so heavily. Many of us want to have the approval or acceptance of our family. We want them to be happy when we are happy. We want them to celebrate when we celebrate. Yet this may not always be the case because everyone will not be happy with you or for you because they are not happy with themselves or in their own life. There are some who say they want to see you happy but in all honesty there is a limit on that happiness and it says "I am happy for you as long as you are not doing better than me". 

This is why when it comes to family or even close friends you have to be careful seeking their approval in your life or seeking to please their eyes because they have limits set for how far that happiness will go with you.

It does not have to be anything fault of your own for a person to decide to not be happy for you. Often the issue at hand is that they are not happy in their own lives so they choose to not be happy for others or to put up a false image of happiness for you. Have you ever noticed a person who in one moment is cheering in your corner and then the next day they have a mouthful of negative thoughts to toss at you about the very thing they once appeared so happy to celebrate with you about? Well then you see my point and you have encountered a person who just is not going to be pleased with you because they are not pleased with themselves.

Take a moment out of your day to make you happy. Stand in front of a full length mirror not just the one that shows your head. Get a full view of yourself and examine all that you are and say, 
"From this day forth, I vow to make me happy even at the risk of losing others". 

Today I want you to stop seeking to make your friends happy, your family happy or even the people at your church happy. Build up a prayer life with God and he should be the only one besides yourself that you seek to make happy.
You are the one who has to live this life and how you choose to live it, is up to you and nobody else.
It does not matter who likes it or who does not like it, as long as you like it, then that means it is well.



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