Good Girl Gone Bad!

So we all saw the heated part in the movie, Waiting to Exhale, when Angela Basset plays a wife married to a man for years and he leaves her for another woman. She talks about how she supported his dreams and helped him start his million dollar company, but it means nothing to the husband who simply cares about satisfying his flesh. So what does Angela do, she transitions, burns up his clothes, cuts her hair and goes bad!

So let's start from the beginning of why good women simply turn bad. When I say bad, I mean heartless and cold towards men.  So here is what happens. She gets her heart broken by the guy she envisioned spending her life with. A young smart single woman who is focus on her career and being happy, suddenly is approached by a guy who shows her much interest. They exchange numbers and began to conversate daily and at all hours of the day. They go on dates and he simply says all the right things to make her smile from ear to ear. Then one magical night they exchange soft kisses and she decides he is worthy of her cookie jar and she gives him the best night ever. As she lays on his chest, she thinks to herself how happy she is to have met him. He  on the other hand lays there thinking...Finally got some, whew...now I wonder whats up with this other chick I met!

We know that us as women can get emotionally involved quicker than men so all of the conversating and texting is speaking volumes to us. The tricky part that guy's love to pretend they never knew is that, they to know that everything being said to you is going to your head. Men know that those soft flirty words and spending time with you will bring you closer to him and closer to what he wants. The problem is that most men only want you close for a season, so they can get what they want and be on their way to the next female. Mission Accomplished! One problem though, she did not know that and now her heart is involved.

 So what do guys do after they get the cookie? They start withdrawing themselves from the woman, claiming she is now in her feelings and stating to her that he just is not into having a relationship with her. He stops calling her, he stops texting her, and every time they speak, it's because he is in need of something. You know, the other woman didn't come through so he figures he'll call you in hope to get some of your cookies.

When she calls, he is almost always too busy to come by and see her. Now she starts feeling neglected and the light comes on in her head that he never really liked her or cared at all, he was simply using her to get what he wanted.  This is the problem I have with men who lead women on and then leave them hanging. If you are not planning to pursue a relationship with the woman then let her know up front what your plan is so she is not left in the dark. Most men do whatever it takes to get the cookie and they too often play these games with good women who have already been through enough heartaches. These women keep getting their hearts crushed by guys who are out to run game and she can't tell the difference from the real men and the fake ones because all come with different approaches. Then there is the guy who is confused, he doesn't know whether to let the woman go because he has completed his mission or hold on to her because deep inside he has developed some feelings for her to. Now those types of men are the worst because they take women on roller-coaster rides. One minute he wants her and the next he is telling her to go be happy with someone else. Then he decides he wants to keep her around for his benefit or maybe to boost that insecurity he has so he then changes his mind, calls her up and tells her to calm down and just go with the flow.

Wrong Ladies! Do not fall for those tricks because that is simply a man who wants his cake and ice cream to. He doesn't want to give you up because you benefit him in some way and so he wants to continue to drag you along by a string while he goes out and does what he wants to do with other women. So now the red lipstick is on and the woman now see's the light and she realizes that it's time to kick him to the curb and she vows that no man will get her down again!

Men would say that it is the woman's fault for allowing herself to believe the guy in the first place. I disagree with that, because that's like saying no guy deserves a chance at all. Women believe in giving guys the benefit of the doubt because no matter how much hell we may have experienced with other guys, we still believe in love and the fact that some guy out there is not the same as the other bad ones. Men have to realize that if you are not interested in a serious relationship with the woman, then you need to leave her alone and find a woman who is speaking the same language as you are. Men also need to realize that if you are in a relationship with plans to cheat on the woman then let her go and stop leading her on because you simply don't want to let go of her and see her happy with another man. There are men who have left their ex's but still sleep with them and communicate with them simply because they refuse to see her with another guy. They go out and sleep with other women but still try to do just enough with their ex to keep her from leaving entirely.These types of men are selfish men because they only think of themselves and no one is happy if they are not happy.  This is wrong and when the woman wakes up and realizes she is being played, hell will break lose and she will build up a steel wall towards men.

A woman who is tired of being hurt eventually goes bad. She may spend the day at home laying in that bed thinking about all the stuff you said to her and all the things you did to her. She begins to go through multiple stages from feeling as if she is the reason you left to feeling like something is wrong with her. Then she begins

to go to the independent phase where she finally decides that she no longer needs a man in her life to be happy. She stops crying, tosses the tissue box across the room and decides to give every man who comes her way hell. She wants revenge, she wants to get even with men, she wants to make them feel just as bad as she now feels. She is heartless!

Her make-up goes on and she changes up her entire image. Men can prevent the destruction of a good woman because whether you know it or not, all you have created is the opportunity for another man who actually wants to love her from getting a shot. Instead when he meets her, she will bring him hell and heartache because she no longer trusts men and believes they are all the same....out to break her heart & steal her cookies from the jar. Then you hear guys who go around talking about how crazy the woman is now, and how she used to be so sweet but really who's fault is that? Not her own. Some man stole the last bit of hope she had about love. Men, I can't stress it hard enough, but leave that woman alone if you have no intention on being with her. Do not lead her on, let her go. Stop letting your ego cause you to mess up some sweet lady who does not deserve to be hurt. Women, pay attention to the signs to avoid hurtful outcomes!

1. He never spends time with you.
2. He is always to busy to come see you.
3. He states that he is not ready for a relationship.
4. He tells you that he has other female friends.
5. He considers you to be just a friend and nothing more.
6. He never calls you unless he needs something.
7. He talks to you like you are one of the homies.
8. He does everything 50/50...you pay one date and he pays the other date.
9. He never shows affection towards you, only simple hugs, no kisses, no holding hands, no cuddling.
10. He never talks about you on social media or any media. Ex. You all had an awesome night out, so you post about it because you are happy...he on the other hand never mentions the outing.


Men are throwing out tons of red flags that are saying it's time to bring this to an end. Ladies you have to pay attention to those signs early on so that you do not find yourself feeling the need to go bad and seek revenge on innocent men. There are still some good men out there ladies. I believe that most of you make bad choices because you jump on the first guy who says hello out of desperation. The guy who pops up in your face so easily, does the same pop up to every woman he meets. That guy who is truly interested in you will be a bit more reserved and he will sit back and observe you a while before he makes a move. He will take his time trying to get to know you and see if you are the one he wants to be with long term. He will let you know up front what he wants. Be careful though because some men are out saying they want to get married but they never say when, which means this could be a game to get you to assume that this dating could lead to something when really it will lead to nothing but him getting what he wants. The ball is in your court ladies every time you meet a guy and you can set the tone of how that dating session will go. Do not be fooled by the fact that he will pray with you and go to church with you occasionally because men will do what ever they feel it takes to earn your affection. He may actually be a busy guy as he tells you because he has multiple women to give attention to during the week outside of his working hours.

Listen with your ears and not with your heart. It will save you heartaches. Don't go bad! Don't get even! You don't have to blow up his car...you can simply blow his mind. How? By moving on with your life and letting this situation be a lesson learned. Step out stronger and be more wiser with the next guy you meet. Pray and prepare yourself to become the best thing ever for the right man and you will know when he is right because it will feel like sunshine just walked into a dark room and all the earth suddenly stood still.

Stop letting men turn you into a sour apple...stay sweet but be wiser so the right man will be able to enjoy that precious sweet fruit that God created you to be. You are valuable, you are beautiful clearly because if you were not, the guys would not be running after you. Keep your head up and know that the right man is often closer than you think and he is watching you like Boaz was watching Ruth. He is waiting to approach you but you have to move that want to be player out of the way so he can see you.
Be strong Ladies and most of all....Be patient! The best things in life do not come easy...they take time.