Thursday, April 28, 2016

Wife vs. Baby Mama: Where Do You Draw The Lines?

Let's admit that in 2016 you are bound ladies to end up dating a guy who has kids. The problem only arises when you discover the type of relationship he has with his child's mother. I will add that a lot of relationships end before they even get started when it comes to dating a guy who has a "baby mama". Most of those issues only arrive when the guy does not know how to distinguish between who is more important in his life. Many men want to respect the mother of the child because she birthed their child but at the same time they must respect their new love and not place her on a back burner just to accommodate his child's mother.

Where does he draw the line? Who should be put in their place? Will it bring more problems?

Here is a confession below from a guy who has been having issues with his baby mama and wife.

"Why can't you all get along
Wife you have to understand, we gone always have love for the baby mama. She birthed our seed and 9/10 held a brother down like a brick.

If it didn't work with the baby mama it was probably our fault.
Baby mama why you always hating and starting stuff?
Example I gave my baby mama some money to get her hair done for a job interview. Wife and I go get my daughter, my wife says something slick and BM says "Whatever, I hope you like my hair my baby daddy paid for it" then pulls off.
But Wife why you always tripping, you got the ultimate trophy "the man". So why is it that you even entertain the BM. Sure we got love for the BM (even if we act like we don't) but who got the ring??? No one forced us to marry you. We did so out of love, so stop giving us crap
Yes we gone do for the BM even if it don't pretend to the child but we gone do more for you!
PS no hate but if you husband act like he hates his BM, he doesn't all the time, just sometime. As for me and mines, it's a LOVE/HATE relationship. But with the wife it's LOVE/LOVE"

Now after reading that statement from this guy I will say this sounds like a guy who is still sleeping with his "baby mama".  Your income is supposed to go on your child, yourself, & your wife.
WHY are you paying for the mother of your child to get her hair done?

Stuff like that is asking for trouble and you will get it every time. Your child's mother is responsible for getting her own hair and nails done, not you. There are so many "baby mama's" who are single and treating their child's father as if he is their man. The problem is that the father needs to man up and let her know her place and stop feeding into the same crap. If you still wining and dining your child's mom then you clearly still have feelings for her that exceed beyond the child. Your wife should be respectful to your baby mother but if she starts making slick comments about how you get her hair done and etc., then that's the time as a man that you step in and put her in her rightful place. A man should state, "Yea you are the mother of my child but this is my wife and you need to respect her".

 Any man that allows his baby mom's problems to become the "wife" or girlfriend's problem is a weak man. This is why so many women are afraid to date men who have children by other women.

Now understand that there are some men who do not have problems with their child's mother whether she is single or not because they have a mutual understanding that they are not together and the only communication involved is on the child's needs and well beings. I honestly feel that is how it should be. If the guy and his child's mother are not together, there is no reason for him to be taking her out to eat all the time and getting her hair done. I feel you can take your child out to eat and spoil your kids but the baby mama does not need to be on the scene for all of your outings. I have a problem with a guy who has his child's mom out everywhere they go because to me it says you two still have some feelings for each other and it is possible that you both are still sleeping together.

There is no law that says because she has a baby with you that she is entitled to be disrespectful towards who ever you are involved with or that she is entitled for you to spend your money on. Your child's mother also should not be hanging out all the time with you and your girlfriend. I mean where do they do that at?! We will be cool but not that cool.

 If you are paying child support then let that be it. If you must spend any extra money then let it be on the child. You can't be in a relationship but still treating your child's mom as if she is your girlfriend to. Her bills and gas for her vehicle are her own personal problems. Men have to know where to draw the line when you are married or in a serious relationship that is leading to marriage. I know most guys claim well their child's mother will be around forever and the girl can always leave. Let me explain that this is still no excuse to disrespect the woman you are involved with. If you have such high standards for your child's mother then you two should just be together if you are going to continue to make that an excuse for treating her lavish.

If you do not draw a line of respect then every relationship you encounter will fail. Which I'm sure will make your child's mother quite happy because that just means more of your time and money she can use up until she gets her own man.

Man up!
Be respectful of the new person in your life who is trying to love you and do for you what your ex aka "baby mama" could not do for you.


Monday, April 25, 2016

Everybody Hates.....Harriet Tubman??!!

Recently Treasury Secretary Jacob J. Lew  announced the most historically symbolic makeover of American currency in a century, proposing to replace the slaveholding Andrew Jackson on the $20 bill with Harriet Tubman and the media went nuts. People turned to twitter to lash out their thoughts about this change on the $20 bill.
What I found to be the most disturbing was the large amount of jokes placed over social media from black people!

I saw posts that stated that Harriet Tubman was too ugly to be on the money, and posts that stated everyone would start paying for things with $10 bills instead of the $20 bill. One female even commented that she felt Rosa Parks should have been on the bill instead.  Let me take a minute to say that although I respect Rosa Parks and all she did that day on the bus along with another black woman, Claudette Colvin who did not receive the same recognition; she was a good woman. However Parks and no other black woman can even be placed in the same sentence as Harriet Tubman because of what she did for black slaves. I can't begin to understand why so many black people would say such idiotic things about not wanting her face on the bill after all she has done to make sure that you even have a place to stand today. She is a woman who took a stand when not many other slaves would. She is a woman who despite the many failed attempts of others, was able to free countless amounts of slaves.

 Let me historically school the unlearned on who Harriet Tubman was.

American abolitionist, humanitarian and an armed scout and spy for the United States Army during the American Civil War. Tubman was born into slavery & escaped while going back & forth to make thirteen missions to rescue approximately seventy enslaved families and friends, using the network of antislavery activists and safe houses known as the Underground Railroad. She later helped abolitionist John Brown recruit men for his raid on Harpers Ferry, and in the post-war era was an active participant in the struggle for women's suffrage

This woman was the definition of phenomenal!

To be honest she deserves the $20 bill and so much more recognition than what is just now being given. We as blacks still have a long way to go to earn our 40 acres and a mule that was never received. I am grateful to say that because of women like her and others that followed, we are a lot further than we ever imagined to become.

There is a time and a place to joke but this woman went above and beyond in history and she deserves the utmost respect for her endeavors. She lived to be 91 years old! She was smart and most of all not afraid to take a stand to make changes for others. She was a woman who did not just free herself but when back to try and free others.

This is such a problem in the black community today. We are mentally still enslaved. We no longer have the chains on our ankles and wrists or about our necks; they are wrapped around our minds. Instead of applauding something so great, many began to bash their own history, their own people, as if they were a bunch of Uncle Tom's and then found humor in their own stupidity.

So give her the flowers she should have received many years ago, even if its just a face on a piece of green paper. She deserves it & more!  I truly believe that if she was alive today, she would have said that no form of paper could ever give her the true freedom she had within her mind.

See true freedom comes from being free inside. If you are not free within, then you are still a slave waiting on those Southern cotton fields to be rescued. Never ever growing to learn that your life has more value to it than slaving away for somebody else's dream.


Lil Kim & The Everyday Black Woman Issues

The black woman has been talked down on more now than ever before. You hear the degrading language of the black female in rap lyrics and more. I have heard many of our black brothers talk about how they want the black woman to start back loving the black man yet many of them don't even love us.

I remember years ago how Kanye West had a hit verse in his song "Gold Digger", where he states "So stick by his side
I know there's dudes balling and yeah that's nice
And they gonna keep calling and trying but you stay right girl
And when you get on he leave your ass for a white girl".

So basically he tells the black woman to stay right, but what did Kanye do once he made it to the top? Right. He went and got him a white girl. As have many of our brothers in the industry. They either get a white girl or find one that's Hispanic. How can we teach sisters to love themselves when the men show us daily how much they are not happy with us. I'm so tired of seeing us as black women run off to change our bodies, our hair and more just to impress men who really could care less about us. Men who deep down inside hate the color of their own skin.

Let me add that it is not every black man but it is enough of them. How can you hate the same black skin that you were born through. I could go down the list of Black celebrities who are married to white or Hispanic women. I'm sure behind the start of each, there was a black sister cheering them on to their path of success.

Then there are the jokes that all black women are angry. Many of them have a right to be emotionally angry because they get used to the max while trying to stay beside a brother and motivate him only for him to later leave them for someone else.

Then let the black woman get fed up and move on to dating a white man and suddenly they come out the woods with all the slave jokes and how we need to love our brothers.
I recently saw on twitter where Lil Kim had drastically made changes to her complexion. I was so shocked because you could barely recognize her. I remember years ago in the media how she stated that she never felt pretty enough for any guy. She stated how no matter how good she dressed or presented herself, she still got cheated on.

That is sad because it is a lot of black sisters out here that feel the same way she does, they just don't have the money to change themselves like they desire to. They see nothing but rich brothers parading in the media with white women. They are only praised on social media when they are posting half naked photos and honestly it seems the black woman is only looked upon as a sex object more so than a woman to marry.

I love a recent video by Derrick Jaxn who spoke out a little about this issue. This issue deserves so much more exposure because its just sad how some black men treat black women.

They want to lust over the hips and breast of the black woman but when it comes to marriage they move on to a white girl. Many even say that they prefer white women because they don't do a lot of arguing. I think that is dumb because every woman will argue with you if you are in the wrong. I think many of them just grew up hating the color of their skin or feeling ugly on the inside. They felt that marrying a different race would help them produce some kids that they felt would not have to deal with the torment they went through growing up.

I think at the end of the day it is all about self hate.

You hate yourself so much that you feel like you need another race to make you feel good about yourself.

How can we teach our kids to love themselves when we do not even love ourselves. There was a time back in the 90s when black love was real and the men were not ashamed to sing about it. Now every song that comes on is against loving women. Its all about sexing them and tossing them to the side. They support more love for their male friends than they do for the woman.

Let me add that I am sure not every black man out here hates the black woman. Some just like what they like and you have every right to. I'm mainly speaking against the ones of bash black women daily in their status on social media and in their music.

I'm all for love of self. I hope that not just black women but all women love themselves no matter what a man attempts to do to break you down. What one man does not love, another man will treasure. If you change your appearance then let it be because you want to do it and not because some man made you feel un-pretty.

Love starts from the inside and works its way out.

If black men expect the love to be shown to them mutual then show us that you love us and stop degrading us and making us feel as if there is something wrong with the color of our black skin. Some of you love every race but your own and that is a huge problem of self hate.

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Dear Black Man: Poetry

Dear Black man
I feel bad for you
Always going through the things you shouldn't have to
Fingers always pointed at you no matter what you do

Dear Black man
Why can't our sisters love you more
Always fighting & yelling
then pushing you out that door

Dear Black man
I know you never meant to leave her all alone
You did everything you could
to prevent a single parent home

Dear Black man
When you love its so much deeper
You do everything despite our foolish ways to show
the lady that you are a keeper

Dear Black man
She really not mad at you
This is a generation of curses at matter
It started with a slave master
Forcing you out the picture
Simply made us madder

Dear Black man
We were searching for someone to blame
Mad at you because we were forced to carry on
a white man's name

Dear Black man
We cried and cried
Not once noticing how hard you tried and tried

Dear Black man
I know you wanted to snap their neck
while they constantly turned your family against you
Even today you still fight for your respect.

Dear Black man
I just want you to know
You don't have to take another blow
We got your back for sho'

Dear Black man
When times get hard
Just keep your head towards the sky
Keep believing in God

I know things are complicated every time you step out to face your day
but just know that we as sisters stand beside you no matter what society say.

By: Tanisha D. Davis
I am the Creator of this Blog.

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Who Is Derrick Jaxn?

"A man is as a man does; not says, hopes, or promises."
                                                             -Derrick Jaxn

 "Derrick Jaxn (Jackson), a native of Enterprise, Alabama, found his purpose in his exceptional ability to impact lives by relating to others through the written world. The former student athlete turned author and spoken word poet grew up as the youngest of 5 in a single parent household. Jaxn witnessed his mother overcome life threatening illnesses while working multiple jobs, which would later become the catalyst in his drive to impose a standard of excellence, logic, and originality on a world dictated by blind conformity."{}

Women across social media to include myself  have grown quite excited as they encounter weekly videos posted on social media from Derrick Jaxn who puts out some amazing information for women and men. I can assure you that Jaxn brings the heat as he delivers nothing but honest truth even if its stepping on a few of the guys toes. I have been following a lot of his quotes on the social media site Facebook for a while now and became quite in awe at the things he had to say to women and men. You don't find too many men really stepping out to speak on topics that educate our women and shine the light on a lot of issues within the man.

At first glance the average woman would simply be raptured up by his great looks and amazing physique before she has the chance to notice how bright and intelligent he is. Derrick Jaxn is not only a lifestyle blogger but is also a gifted man of speaking the poetic word. His poetry can be found on his YouTube page. Jaxn has also written novels such as his first novel “A Cheating Man’s Heart”, which currently holds the spot in the top #25 in genre fiction/biographical on Kindle.

Jaxn is known also for popular articles such as "12 Things She Wishes You Understood" ,"The Wake Up Call, and Sincerely Trayvon Martin" all of which have been shared virally all over social media networks. Derrick Jaxn definitely captures more than the eye but also the minds of many with his profound hardcore knowledge spreading to all who are willing to listen.

I truly adore his honesty and as many of you should know, he also has an online store that brings his realistic quotes to life. You can check out his clothing line by visiting

Derrick Jaxn also appeared on CNN back in 2013 speaking out on "Police Brutality". He is not only a man of major words but a man who puts action behind his words. He has proven to not be afraid to step out and speak his mind which is why his followers adore him and his fan base continues to grow massively. I believe nothing attracts the attention of women more than a man who is educated and knows what he is talking about when he pours out the advice he gives from the heart. You can tell that by watching and reading what Jaxn has to say comes from a place of experience.

So whether you just took notice of Derrick Jaxn because he was major eye candy or because he made you think about the facts of life. You can continue to stay motivated by him by following him on all social networks. Be sure to also visit his site We all are watching Derrick Jaxn and of course its for more than his physique!

"I don't try to change minds, I try to open them. It doesn't matter what treasure is on the other side of the door, you can't claim it if it is closed".
                                                       -Derrick Jaxn

Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Reasons Why She Is Glad You Never Called Back!

I had so much fun putting out this article only because I was tired of reading articles and watching shared videos of men bragging about why they stopped talking to a woman after having sex with her as if that was something to really be proud of.

I mean you are excited because you did to a woman what a lot of sorry men do to women these days despite how well the woman treats you?

Let me state that not every woman is using her yoni as a tool to get you. Most sadly actually care about you but your itty bitty buddy got you too blind to see that. Only real men understand that when a woman does decide to open up that part of themselves to you, it has meaning behind it. That same sacred place delivers life and birth to many nations. So to open that place up to you is a sign of a gift to someone she cares for deeply. Its a sign that she is willing to open up to you and let down the guards she has placed on her heart and body. Its removing that gate that she often uses to protect herself from men like you who do not appreciate it.

Nothing upsets me more than a man bragging about why they dog women out.
If you take excitement in dogging women then clearly your love must be for the other side of the fence. Maybe you secretly love men and that's why you treat women so cold.

So now let me enlighten a lot of you self centered men who think you gained a crown for your ruthless acts. Allow me to bring your ego down to the dirt under someone's shoe which is where it belongs when you think like an idiot or better yet a little boy.

You actually did her a favor by not returning her calls because she clearly did not need a little boy in her life. Let me assure you that despite the fact that you are walking around as if your little mighty mouse has the "Midas Touch", you should carefully re-evaluate that confidence level.

You want to talk about why you never called back after you got those panties, well many women are so grateful when some men stop calling because he was never satisfying her fully in the bedroom in the first place.
Most of you think bunny rabbit humping and yelling all that lame stuff like "Oh baby this is what you wanted" is turning her on when she is really thinking "OMG this is nothing like I thought it would be" & "I hope I didn't leave the oven on".

You would be amazed at the number of women who fake orgasms just to keep you thinking that you are making magic when really its a bunch of hocus pocus. Lets be honest when I say that many are afraid to tell you to your face that the little thing you worship is actually a disappointment. Your sex was whack and she probably did not know exactly how to tell you because she cared too much about your feelings. Honestly it was quite relieving when you moved on because it helped her to play the sympathy role on her part when actually she was thrilled that another bad apple bit the dust.

You and your little man can sit down somewhere if you think for once that you hurt her by stopping the communication. Don't be so confident my dear.

Here's another interesting fact. Men think that sex is the only way a woman relates and understands.

 Women are deeper intellects than what many of you men give credit for. Your sex game is not what drives her crazy about you, it is simply an extra benefit to having you so even when you fail in the bedroom, we still find other reasons to love you outside of that.

We look at your work ethics and how you love and respect us despite that minor issue that you walk around thinking is running the show.

Did you by any chance little egotistic man know that a woman can get turned on by more than just your little whacker?

We get stimulated off of your conversation and your mental dialogue with us. We get stimulated off of your level of intelligence and how well you carry yourself.
Your sex my dear is not as golden as you think because its a lot of men out there who give amazing sex so if your little childish mind thinks that sex is all you need to keep her then you will be left or cheated on every time. (I do not by any means approve of cheating )

If you want to brag about something then let it be the reasons why you held on to her after the sex rather than bragging about how you just used and left another woman feeling broken. So many women are use to the typical hit it and quit it jerks, so blow her mind by not living up to the hype.

Every woman will not tell you upfront that your little arrogant ego stinks. Some actually take offense to your little prideful actions. The fact that you even have the nerve to brag on using someone is just about as dumb as a dog chasing its tail.

So I say to you little jerks on behalf of every woman who got tossed to the side despite how well they treated a man outside of the bedroom....Thank You for not calling back!

Thank you for moving out of the picture so a real man could step on the scene and love her.
Thank you so much for moving on and not wasting no more of her time and efforts to try to show your little ungrateful heartless self some affection.
Thank you for revealing the real you before she had invested to much of herself into you.
Thank you little arrogant turd for moving on and I am sure that the next man who enters her life will be just as thankful that you got out of his way so he could love those silk panties that you were so happy to get rid of.

Maybe you really get turned on by a pair of boxers rather than panties but any who I'm just stating some facts because obviously your love is not for women if you make it a habit to bed them and drop them.

Then there are some of  you who sleep with these women and then expect them to not have any emotional attachments towards you. You claim to move on because she started catching feelings for you. Well poor little tink tink for being upset that some woman cared about your little raggedy behind. Be glad that a woman cares about you and is giving you some attention because she could be giving it to someone else. How dumb is that?! To leave a woman who has in no way wronged you because she started showing that she cared. So what would you had rather her act like the typical garden tool and go nuts on you?
Man stop with the foolishness.

You my dear are another clueless male if those are your motives for leaving women.

Do me a favor and give these women something they are not used to seeing which is love from a man and not the typical use & abuse scenarios that she has seen all her life.

Tips for Understanding How to Date A Single Mom

Dating for a single mother can be quite difficult.

When a single parent dates, one must have an understanding that the process is not only about the individual but also about what works best for the child. Its about making time for the individual you are currently getting to know and also about managing your time around your child and work life. This is often a hard thing for those who do not have kids to understand when they pursue you.

Many guys can be quite selfish when it comes to dating a single mother because they expect you to drop everything that you have going on at the last minute. The average working single mother requires you to make plans in advance in order to spend time with her and sadly there will not be a lot of pop up visits or last minute plans. As a grown man, you must be able to understand that her time is limited and although she is excited about having someone become part of her world, she knows that her life is not all about her wants or needs.

I have been single going on four years now and I have had my share of let downs when it comes to dating. The average working mother looks at more than just the fact of liking the guy but also if the guy has the potential to be a great father figure to her child. There are so many abusive, perverts and pedophiles out here that a single mother has to be very careful about her choices and any red flags that pop up are a dismiss card for the guy.

A single mother observes how well you respect her time. She is also attentive to your reaction when she states that she does have kids. Be mindful that a single mother will not have you around her kids so suddenly until she knows that the dating will turn into something serious and long term.

When I am dating this is one of my main things that I observe in a guy. I have to know whether this is just a lustful fling going on in the man's head or if he see's me as a potential long term partner.

As a single mother, I do not date for fun. I date with a purpose.

There are so many who just say get out there and have fun because you are single. No as a mother with a child, there is no such thing as dating for fun because again you have a responsibility that will be observing your actions. As a responsible single mother, you can't have different men in and out your door or around your child or kids.
Your actions become their reality as they get older.

Real men know how important it is to be patient. Understand that she is not trying to put you last. If you meet a single mother who is planning and making time in her schedule for you then by all means take excitement in that because it means that she is really interested in you.

Also many of you want to know what are the perfect dates to go on with a single mother. If you and her are going on a first date then just look into doing things that will allow her to relax and exhale. Picnics in the park, hiking, and spa treatments are great places to go because she has been busy all week with her child and work so help her to relax when she is with you. Become that place of peace when she is around you, you know her perfect getaway from her busy life.

If you have been dating consistently for at least three months then plan a getaway weekend for her and her child or kids. She will be observing to see how well you interact and relate with her kids.

I always sit back and observe how a guy responds to my child and his body language when handling things after we have been dating for three months or longer. Your interaction with her child can be a make or huge deal breaker.


I was excited to watch a video put out on YouTube by "Derrick Jaxn" who spoke on how single mothers are only for real men. It was a pleasure to hear a man finally speak out about what single mothers have to encounter in the dating world. If a man is not mature enough then dating a single mother will not work for him.

Dating a single mother is a positive and not a negative. Her pros are that she knows how to prioritize and make time for you, her career and her child. Great signs of a potential mother & wife for you if that's your goal.

 Most men think that dating a single mother is a deal breaker when really it is a plus.  If you deal with women who do not have kids, many of them can be quite selfish when it comes to their time and could care less about your time.

When I didn't have a child, nobody else mattered but me and I was quite firm about that. It wasn't until I became a mom that I started valuing the importance of other people in my life.

I want to add that no, not all single moms are dating because they need financial help with their child or kids. Many of us are handling our own weight in the home, yet we still need our men to be part of our life. Our desire is to bring our child up in a two parent environment.  Not all of us have "baby daddy drama" as many men fear.

Remember be patient with us, always make plans in advance, never play with her time and most of all be understanding when things pop up that might cause a detour in our schedule. If you can do these minor things then you will have a woman on your hand who will truly make you feel like a king.
Lastly do things for her without her having to ask you. It's the little things that mean a lot to a busy mom.

Real men understand that.

Friday, April 15, 2016

The Fears Of Love

"Love never fails. People fail love."

I believe we all have at least fallen in love at one point or another in our life. That love moment either helped us become better as a person or taught us a hard lesson.
I do believe that the idea of love has somewhat vanished. I have observed many who would rather have the physical intimacy rather than the mental and soulful connection.

I have had my share of bad encounters and for me love just seems to be almost as hopeful as waiting for a shooting star to cross the midnight skies.

I truly believe that enough bad encounters will leave any one person in a moment of despair and grief. The mind begins to wonder if love will ever happen and if they are even worthy of being loved. We observe love occurring in every aspect of our life and even on social media. We just can't seem to shake the images constantly appearing before our eyes. Images reminding us that our time for love has still not yet come.

In the hours of waiting or constantly running into dead end streets with those you assume are potential life partners. You begin to fear love. You begin to fear the idea of falling in love. You fear it because the thoughts of love have failed you time and time again. Each moment that you got motivated and built up the nerve to pursue again, you were disappointed with what was presented to you.

No you are not a bad person and yes you are very much worthy of love. However at this moment in your life the best thing for you to do is to simply spend time loving yourself more. Yes that often seems like a hard thought right? You say out loudly that "I already love myself" and you desire to have someone else to experience that same love with you. You are frustrated with trying over and over and as each year passes you discover disappointment after disappointment.

I want to encourage you to not give up.

I and many others have found ourselves in the same shoes that you are in now.
We all wanted to just say forget love and enjoy the single life doing however you please.

I want to share one of my favorite love stories in the bible.

Ruth and Boaz.

Ruth was not looking for a husband. She was still mourning the lost of her previous husband. She had relocated to a new place with her mother-n-law and her focus was mainly on making a living so that they could eat. Each day Ruth went out into the field to gather the remaining scraps that the other women had left behind. She was focus and not in search of anyone nor was she observing to see if anyone had taken notice of her.

Yet as she moved continuously through the fields. A man had taken notice of her. he observed her and began to inquire to other male workers about her. He started having the women to leave more food behind for her to gather in the field. Desiring to help this woman who was just focus on the scraps and getting by.

Ruth had no idea of the blessings this man was laying before her on her path daily. Needless to say Ruth went on to marry a man that she never knew noticed her or her hard work. Sometimes the ones you are paying attention to may not be the ones for you.

There is somebody who is taking notice of how hard you work and admires everything about you.
They might have not found the time to approach you but the blessings are definitely being laid down before you, just keep busy. Stay focus on what it is you are trying to pursue for yourself. Stop searching for love.

Let  love find you. Let love observe you. Let love bless you.

The moment you stop fearing if it will ever happen for you, that will be the moment that it happens.

I know it hurts and sometimes you feel down and depressed but believe me, just because a few did not care for your time and affection does not mean nobody exists who will.

Remember that love did not fail you. People fail you. Love is going to happen for you really soon!
Your love story will be amazing and every heart break that you experienced will be a thing of the past. Don't let a few bad run ins cause you to change who you are nor give up.

Friday, April 8, 2016

Money Talks! Reasons Why Broke Guys Finish Last!

There is a reason why she seems to be chasing after the man who has the money more so than the man who has her heart at best interest.

We all believe in love but for many that love does not help to pay the bills or make life easy. No matter how hard a man works there will always be that guy who drives by in the nice Ferrari that makes his Toyota look like nothing at all. The sad thing about it is not only does he notice the nice ride but so does his girlfriend.

Many women would be lying if they said they were not looking for a man who could take care of them. It's what many of them have been raised up on for centuries. Women were taught to just maintain their beauty and cooking skills so they could get a man who was rich enough to take care of them. Father's did not even give their daughter's hand in marriage without knowing exactly how that man planned on taking care of her.

Forget about coming to her parents door with love in your heart and no money because her parents would keep the door locked and turn off the porch light. The average female despite how much she loves one guy tends to go after the guy who shows her that he can give her a better life financially despite how much he actually cares about her. In every neighborhood or household you can possibly find a woman whose heart belongs to another guy the opposite of the one she married. To her family and friends the decision will be considered a good move but she will live on forever trying to prove to herself that she loves him more than she loves his money.

Lets take a look deeper into the matter.

So she is a working woman who is just barely getting by with her monthly bills and obligations. She really loves this guy who she has known for a while now. Every month she finds herself in a financial crisis so she calls you to help out with that shortage on the rent or maybe some gas in her car. When she calls, you began telling her about how you really wish you could help her but currently you have no money to give her.  She loves you so she states how she understands despite the fact that she is still in desperate need of some help. While strolling down her call log for persons who are able to help her, she runs across that guy who is self-employed and even though he is a bit disrespectful, he is always available to help her when she needs him. The lights are about to be turned off and you my lover boy can't help her so what do you think she will do?

She will call that disrespectful guy to pay her bills and eventually find herself involved with him because she needs the help and lover boy is just never able to come through when she needs him.

This is the realistic scenario for so many women every month and every day.

Its never fair to the guy who has a dream of one day having the money but for some women they just refuse in the 20th century to sit around and wait on a dream that for them may never come. They only see the right now situation which is that disconnect notice in bold letters and you sitting back smiling in her face but not being able to help her out. They see this guy who has the gas to come over for sex but never has the gas money when her tank is about empty. They see the same guy who can take her on a few cheap dates but is never able to help her when she says I need some help with my rent.

So even though love matters, a woman in this day and time is looking for that love to be shown in more ways than one.

I do believe that a woman who sticks beside a man when he is broke until he makes it on his feet will truly be taken care of if the guy appreciates her. There are some guys who do make it but run off with another woman and forget about the one who put up with him during his broke days.

I'm not saying that its ever right for a woman to not put up with a guy that she claims to love because he is broke. I just want you to see the reasons for why this mishap occurs everyday. No woman should choose a guy just because of his finances because those are things that can easily change but it happens daily.

Men state that they do not want a broke woman and the same rules apply with women who do not want a broke man. The rules of the game is to work hard and get yourself together financially first before attempting to get married to a woman that you are not able to take care of. No matter how much she loves you, eventually she will get tired of never being able to enjoy life because bills are constantly piling up.

Your financial status does matter, however having a woman who will stick beside you while you work on bettering yourself is a huge blessing and you should definitely appreciate that. In a world where money is the only thing that seems to matter these days, a man must value a woman who is not after his pockets but is after his heart.

Money does talk a lot quicker but a man who is broke will only finish last if he chooses to.

No woman wants a man who sells her dreams but every year is still in the same boat he swam to her door in.

Get yourself together so that when you and that special woman do come together, you can enjoy life a lot easier. We all want someone to love us for just us but sadly that's not the way it is all the time. People love you as long as you have something going for yourself and if not then that love tends to turn into vapor.

Tuesday, April 5, 2016

"Reasons I'm Not Rushing Marriage"

So yes I'm the single woman who hopes to one day get married but I'm not rushing into it.

I have definitely had my share of experiences with congratulating people on getting married only to see them filing for a divorce within two years and sometimes less than that. You sit back and observe couples of all ages happily rushing to plan for that wedding and all the while it seems that every guy you meet is just running in the opposite direction of settling down. Sure you begin to ask yourself if something is wrong with you and of course you ponder after a few lonely nights of popcorn on the couch, "Will It Ever Happen?". Well I'm here to say that its all worth the wait. You never want to just do something because you see others doing it. That's like planning to jump off the Manhattan Bridge just because you have heard about others who have. Despite your desire to one day tie the knot, you should take into consideration all the responsibilities that come with being married.

Marriage is so much more than sex. Yes I said it!

Many get married for the wrong reasons and later end up in divorce court when those qualities they married for begin to fall through the crevices. You may find him or her very attractive and at the moment you may say that you could never grow tired of looking at them. Yet time will surely bring about a change in physical features so you have to be sure that the person you are planning to marry has more meaning to you than just their looks or the shape of their body.

When I think of a person that I plan to spend my life with; I observe his daily activity to see where his heart is most focused upon and also how he reacts to certain things. I observe a lot about the guy because I need to know how he reacts when he is upset or depressed. You need to take the time to learn a little history about the person you are vowing to dedicate your life to. Find out if they like to clean up behind themselves, do they have bladder problems, meaning occasional wetting of the bed at night.
Does this person have a history of mental issues etc. The list can drag on forever but its all part of learning about this person before you dive into marriage. I see many women who marry out of loneliness and because they are financially struggling. These are all the wrong reasons to marry a person. If you did it for money then what will you do when he becomes broke or loses his job? If you married for good sex then what will you do if that person has an accident and can no longer perform?!

When we take those vows that say for better and for worse; many just focus on the better but forget about the worse. Life will definitely have its affects on each of us and you have to love that person so much that if a time came where you had to bathe, feed, or change a diaper then you will do it because you love them. Love means that I love your soul more than your physical. So when he starts losing that head full of hair and those wrinkles start coming in, you got to still want to smother him with kisses just as you did on that day at the alter.

So this is why I wait.

I know exactly what I have prayed to God for and I won't settle for anything less than that. I don't want a man who simply loves my body and forgets to love my mind. I want a man who kisses my mental the same way he kisses my physical.

I want a love that will last like the older days and not just end over small issues. I need to know that the man who asks me to be his wife will not just toss me to the side when he is bored or growing weary. We have to be able to communicate and pray together through every situation even if we get down to one last brown penny, I plan to stay and together get through the struggle.

So no I'm not rushing this thing.
I'm taking my time no matter the age to patiently wait for that special guy who has a mutual desire as strong as mine to make our love last forever. We have to grow together as friends first before we can grow together as anything else.

I want that salt and pepper love, which means we will be together until his hair turns from pepper black to salty white!

Keep waiting ladies and gentlemen who really have a desire for an everlasting love and not something that's just going to last for a couple of springs.

There are reasons for waiting. Love is not supposed to be rushed. Take your time. There is a reason that the phrase, "falling in love" exists. This means that it occurs over a period of time. It doesn't just happen overnight. Too often we rush the love portion.

If you jump off a cliff, you won't hit the ground right away but eventually you will hit it and very hard. Love is just like falling off the cliff. Eventually it will hit you but in the mean time...enjoy the fall.