So the question that Single Women are continuing to ask is, "Why am I Single, when I have so much to offer?"
Many women have been forced by society to get out and make some form of living for themselves until Mr. Right comes along to sweep her off of her hard working feet. These women have been taught by mother, grandmother and father that a man wants a woman with something to offer him, in other words don't just come to the table with your looks. They have been taught that looks are not everything and that men want smart women rather than just a beautiful doll walking beside him.
However despite what they have been taught, this is not always the actuality of what they are seeing take place around them in the communities where they dwell and neither in media which continues to showcase women getting married who have nothing special going on for themselves. These women have worked hard to live up to the stature that society has taught them that they should be from the time they were little girls, so what is wrong? Why are they having hard times with the men?
I took time to ask a few men for their thoughts as to why women with BA's, MD's & even PHD's are still unmarried? Here were their thoughts:
AD: “Some men don't want a woman who is smarter and makes more money because those men feel they can't love a woman and support her if she makes more than them.”
CA: "Because most men don’t like women who are smarter than they are….they want a woman to bring something to the table….she can bring money to the table as long as she not smarter…its because of the male ego not wanting the woman to appear better than them…..a weak man is scared of competition, they weak minded in finances, mentally, and physically….they just weak minded….a strong minded man will try to show her that the money does not matter as long as I love you, what you make, we are one and we make it together….they show her how to build each other up and invest for their greatness because they are one & not separate".
RH: "I feel that you have some guys who want to be the head... If their woman has all that going on, say for example…he is the underdog of the relationship…he is going to feel some type of way about that. Some guys could care less, but my bet is that most do care and would feel his woman wears the pants and is the head of the relationship and he feels like he is the tail".
RK: "They are way to career oriented and the average female who goes through all of that, don’t have no time for no extra stuff, they are just focus on they careers and I feel that in order to gain, you have to lose some things….they trade their relationship life for their business life. The average female making all that money feels like they don’t need a man".
still unmarried:
All men desire to feel needed in a relationship and these guys coming from diverse back grounds and all different ages were able to share thoughts that turned out to be similar....all saying one thing...men want to feel needed in your life. Its great to obtain all those things but you also have to remember that at some point in your life, the man you love wants to know that he means something to you, he wants to know that your career is not entirely more important than he is. Maybe it is just an ego thing, maybe this is just an issue among weak minded men, but I feel all men deserve to be the head in your life and he should not be put beneath you because he was built and crafted to lead.
I Corinthians 11:3..."But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man....
Never be so caught up in your career that you feel that you simply do not need a man, I think this has become a strong signal that women are tossing out to men. When songs promoting "Independence" for women started hitting the radios for women, a lot were pushed right into the motive of becoming exactly like what these singers such as Beyoncé, Neyo, Jamie Fox and even rappers like Webbie and Boosie had told them was the type of woman a man needed. They never told you that it could lead to relationship issues, because soon as the guy feels he is not needed because you can handle your own, now he feels there is no room for him in your life. Selfish it seems...but not entirely because we all want to feel needed.
Pay attention to the signals that you are giving off to men, be sure it is not the, "I don't need you & I can do it by myself signal". These bad signals can send a man in the opposite direction. No matter how beautiful or smart you are, he will only hang around for a season until he finds a woman he feels will consider him of more value to them.
We know women that you are toggling it all, work & family...but believe me there is someone specially designed for you who wants to be the head in your life and not only to act as a ruler over you but to walk beside you as your king and you as his queen. It's okay to let him be the man in your life. We all have been there, so use to doing everything for yourself that when he comes along, you are to busy showing him all that you have going rather than showing him that he has a place in your life and in your heart. Its okay to let your hair down and take off those heels...let him guide you and hold you up, and together you both can build a dynasty.
Many of you have been praying to God for that man to come along in your life who will love you & accept you for who you are. One who will appreciate what you have to offer him but ladies when he comes, you have to allow him the chance to show you what he has to offer you and why he is a great meaning to your life. Be open eyed to what God has been placing on your path. Many times he has sent guys our way but we have pushed or ran them off because of our pride. Humble yourself. Its hard to see what is on your path when you are not focus.
Books like Act like a Lady but Think like a Man by the comedian Steve Harvey have possibly confused many women about how to pursue men.
Women have been told that this is
how a man thinks and you need to start thinking like a man to be able to get a man....but honestly God never designed you to think like a man, he designed you to be and think like a woman. When this book hit the shelves, single & even married women ran to the shelves to include myself in hope to find out the secret to getting a man. We were like kids on Christmas day ready to unwrap the secret to what we finally felt we needed to know. The catch was that the book only gives a brief insight as to how some men think and operate, not all men so women were still desperately lost & single. Then guys had purchased the book also to see what male secrets had been revealed to the women, probably only to laugh at those who attempted those endeavors.
One huge mess I tell you that led the way to more drama and games with women trying to live out the things mentioned in the book.
Somewhere ladies you have to find balance for the things you truly want in life. If your desire is to be married then make it top priority in your life and let everything else fall into place behind it. A man who truly loves you will value you for more than just how much money you make. You don't have to be the richest woman alive with multiple degrees just to catch the heart of a man. You don't have to drive the best luxury vehicle or live in the largest house to grasp his attention. Simply be you and he will adore you for that. You don't have to make those the first topics of the conversation with him either unless he asks for the information.
Love has possibly knocked at your door many times but you have put up the "I don't need a Man sign" so he went to the next door.
Do not blame the next female, simply ask what signs am I giving off to men when they see me?
Use this time to improve, allow 2014 to be the year that you find love. Many times God answers our prayers but we ignore the answers that he gives us & we pay no attention to that man who hangs ever so close to us but we keep him in the "friend" zone.
Love Awaits you, its not about lowering your standards to obtain a man....it's about not allowing your expectations to cause you to miss out on the man God designed for you. See we busy giving out orders to God about what we want in a man....but he already knows what you need and has already prepared a guy for you.
You are only as Single as You allow Yourself to be.
Don't keep getting in your own way!
